Wild animals out to kill me on the Esplanade.

Trump Has No Balls (NSFL)

Trump Has No Balls (NSFL)

Caught this today thanks, or no thanks, to the Huffington Post. Read the full article here.

This is gross. I did not need to see this today. Went for a long walk along the Charles while the sun was going down. It was beautiful. Had a nice dinner. Doing some deep couch sitting watching the Pats game. Scrolled Facebook during a timeout and Trump’s pubes are in my face. 

Now that you’re sucked in, here’s an exceptionally well produced short video of the artist constructing the statue, again courtesy of the HuffPo article:

More acid for your eyeballs. You’re welcome.

(All photos: Katherine Brooks/Huffington Post)

“Bachelor In Paradise” Tues Aug 16 Episode Reaction 

“Bachelor In Paradise” Tues Aug 16 Episode Reaction 

So, I got Evan out of my system yesterday. Tuesday night’s episode was mostly Evan-free, but the time he did get was every bit as obnoxious as Monday night.

Question: what is a hipster weasel?

He gleefully acknowledged his trip to the hospital would basically equate to a date with Carly. Perhaps this shouldn’t irritate me so much, but it does.

I will say that swollen ankles can be a scary symptom of something more serious, so of course I hope he’s fine and I’m sure he is. He’s got the love of his life (aka: three days) by his side.

With that out of the way, here are some other notes of interest:

  • Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but Daniel is “confused”
  • Caila’s hair isn’t really all that special. I’m a guy so I only have my eyes to go by, but it seems pretty basic to me. Her hair always looks great because it’s long and she always wears it down. Guys aren’t that hard to impress, but what do I know?
  • #cailashair was a brief thing on twitter
  • Do girls like it when the guy constantly moans while kissing? Asking for a friend.
  • I don’t know anything about Vizzy. I guess one of the pros (cons?) of coupling up so early is that the producers leave you alone.
  • Jared really is too nice for this show. Kudos for real life, but not for production value. And Caila is being too nice by considering leaving Paradise after Ashley arrived. Or is Caila a phoney?
  • I have zero fucks to give about Ashley. Perhaps my favorite moment of the entire episode was this:

Speaking of Nick, I’ve been #teamnick since Andi’s season. I believe he got a bad rap for staying honest with himself without being a d-bag about it. Perhaps it was more about my dislike of Josh and how obvious it was he’d win because Andi can’t resist the jock asshole type. So I was happy to see Nick have a great date despite the crabs.

Sidebar: I had absolutely no idea who Jennifer was.

Ahh, ok. Ben’s season. Got it.

Needless to say, she’s hot and seemed very attracted to Nick, so good for these two kids. I’m convinced the crabs were planted by the producers. See any in this pic? Just sayin’…

This episode lacked the plentiful preposterous quotes of previous weeks, but whatever. We’re still going to watch.

And I still need a life.

“Bachelor In Paradise” Mon Aug 15 Episode Reaction 

“Bachelor In Paradise” Mon Aug 15 Episode Reaction 

Episode aired Monday night, August 15, 2016.

Evan sucks.

I tweeted this last night and it bears repeating:

*Criticism of Evan does NOT equate an endorsement or justification of Chad.*

The scene of Josh confronting Evan off on their own made my blood boil. Of course Josh sucks. Of course Andi can’t say no to bad boys. Of course everything he says sounds disingenuous, but when Evan actually used the word “crusade” to justify his motives all he accomplished was outing his true self.

It shouldn’t need to be said that I don’t know Evan personally. With that disclaimer out of the way, this is how I perceived last night’s episode.

Evan is that awkward geek who always got stuffed inside his locker by the school bullies. Bullying is never ok, but rather than stand up for himself and earn the respect of others, he allowed these experiences to mold his character and plant deep insecurities within. He eventually went on to have an assumably successful career as an adult and feels empowered by what he perceives to be his intellectual superiority. He thinks he’s doing the world (aka: women) a favor by calling out every alpha male who makes him feel insignificant. Perhaps it’s just nosey meddling when “protecting” a woman he’s not interested in, but when romantically interested it’s petty jealousy at its worst.

It doesn’t matter how sweaty a douche bag Josh is, the fact remains the world never asked Evan to fight this fight. Second, it’s always poor taste to talk shit like that directly behind someone’s back. Third, it was an insult to Amanda by assuming she’s incapable of handling herself. Lastly, the timing and circumstances of Evan’s “move” was obviously motivated by spite and a desire to sabotage. After all, if he can’t have Amanda, why should anyone else?

And then there’s his immediate 180 turn back to Carly the instant she gave him the time of day (aka: the rose).

Evan so desperately needs acceptance from women that he instantly falls in schoolboy love with any unsuspecting woman who reciprocates conversation.

Evan actually said he thought his kids would really like Carly. Dude…you were JUST telling Amanda how you came to Paradise specifically to meet her and you’d always regret it if you didn’t try. Now you’re envisioning Carly taking your kids to the park for an afternoon playdate.

After the rose ceremony, poor Carly hosts an “apartment” party and Evan can’t keep his shit together to save his life. It simply wasn’t enough to laugh at Daniel’s relentless weirdness, he had to one-up him. Perhaps others saw his attempts at push-ups to be endearing self-deprication, but my money’s on his need to distract the room’s focus away from the alpha male and back on himself.

Carly’s observation of Evan having zero swag is so dead on it hurts.

At the end of the night he tries to kiss Carly and when she refused he was so emotionally destroyed he FAKED a medical issue to lure her to his bedside. WHO DOES THAT?! Once it appears he’s ok and the producers and medics leave, he creepily wraps his tenticles around Carly and pulls her onto the bed and kisses her. The entire sequence was an epic scumbag move all while wearing THAT tank top with THOSE shorts. My god.

Carly admits she finds “weird” attractive so best of luck to her. Perhaps they end up being a great match. Just a couple of crazy kids getting their freak on.

Duh… It’s stupid “reality” TV, I know.

Part of the fun is breaking these people down because at the end of the day they’re still human. Despite all the obvious producer provocation, the feelings are real because this is their momentary reality. And whether we admit it or not, we watch because we imagine ourselves in these situations and sometimes – gasp!! –  see a little of ourselves in the characters.

I can’t stand guys like Evan.

They’re the worst.

I am Evan.

(…not really, but kinda?)


Bonus thought:

I’ve always loved Sarah, (Twitter) (Instagram) but her attraction to Daniel is disturbing. On the subject of insecurities, Daniel’s are on grand display as faux machismo. For an eagle who never settles for pigeons, he sure looked like a guy who’s never kissed a girl in his life.

Sarah deserves better.

And I need a life.